I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
