Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
