dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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