cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
