yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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