You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize