You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I will pee on everything he values.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
