Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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