i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Holy shit dude........stairs
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
