my phone needs a breathalizer
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
