i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
