There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
