he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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