I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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