I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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