Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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