PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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