well you can't waste a boner
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
