rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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