how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
