Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
