I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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