Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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