There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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