And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize