Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
