Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
