So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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