Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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