just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
