Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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