Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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