O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
