You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
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I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize