How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
