I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
pop tarts are not kleenex
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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