i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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