I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
