She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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