dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
