well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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