i think my tv is drunk
Your mouth is God's brothel.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
