In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
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So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
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I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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