They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You're so nebulous sometimes
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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