Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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