I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
