please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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