its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I intend to get homeless drunk
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
