I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
