Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize