I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
