i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
