i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
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i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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