We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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