think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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