Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just found puke in my bra..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
